Relationship Goals Week 7: The ‘I Can’t Can’

Relationship Goals Week 7: The ‘I Can’t Can’

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

In this the 7th installment of our Relationship Goals series, Pastor Yami tackles the final statement of vs. 5: “[Love] is not irritable or resentful.” Our human reality is that irritation and resentment are constant parts of our lives; the question we need to ask is not “Are you resentful about anything?” but “What are you resentful about right now?”
Now, we don’t get resentful for no reason. Injustice–whether on a large societal scale, a personal unfairness scale, or a divine “God how could you?” scale–is the most common cause of our undealt with resentments. And we SHOULD be angry about injustice; in fact, Pastor Yami reminds us, our anger about injustice can be the motivating force for righting injustice and creating change. However, when we exagerrate the injustice that makes us angry, add wildly to the pain, and stew on the injuries or simply shove them down so that they fester inside of us, instead of being a powerful force for good, our anger becomes resentment and quickly turns to poinson within us. Resentment unacknowledged, especially when it is resentment with God, can turn us into reckless, people-pleasing, destructive bullies. In this sermon, Pastor Yami challenges us to recognize and name our bitter spots and resentful feelings as the necessary first step to being able to grow through them and love well even when we are confronted with injustice, betrayal, or pain.

Our next steps for this week

Next Steps:

  1. What hurt is defining you?
  2. What struggle have you made your identity?
  3. Where do you need to see God’s kindness towards you?

The reality of life is there is no life apart from relationships. Your relationships might be with stuff, not people, but your life is relating itself to STUFF. So our heart and our goal in this series is to just be at a place where we ask the hard questions, we get into the space of trying to understand what is love really like. Now when you get into scripture, scripture has a lot of stuff to say about love. So we are are looking at some few amazing things that God has said in his word in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 of what love is.

Catch up on earlier Relationship Goals sermons: Week 1 , Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5

Relationship Goals Week 7: The ‘I Can’t Can’

Relationship Goals Week 5: God’s Way

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

This week, our 1 Corinthians 13 conversation continues with the second part of “Love does not insist on its own way.” Last week, Pastor Yami drew our attention to the way that we often approach love in a self-seeking manner, actually using love as an excuse to get our own way. This week, he challenged us on this further, even confessing how much we in the church have used this concept that God loves us unconditionally as a weapon against another, twisting the meaning of unconditional love to ask others never to want us to change or grow. Fortunately, we didn’t stay in the land of hard challenges this week though. In our desire to learn to love in God’s way, rather than our own way, we look at the relationship between the Father and the Son which is the ultimate expression of love in human history. This exchange reveals a love that is affectionate, gives itself away, exalts the other, and, to our surprise, obedient. How Jesus loved the Father, lived out that love, and talks about the way the Father loves him, are beautiful guides to us as we continue to learn to love like them.

Our next steps for this week:

  1. How are you loving others?
  2. Where do you need to commit as a sign of your love?
  3. Commit to a relationships this week in line with what God is inviting you to.

The reality of life is there is no life apart from relationships. Your relationships might be with stuff, not people, but your life is relating itself to STUFF. So our heart and our goal in this series is to just be at a place where we ask the hard questions, we get into the space of trying to understand what is love really like. Now when you get into scripture, scripture has a lot of stuff to say about love. So we are are looking at some few amazing things that God has said in his word in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 of what love is.

Catch up on earlier Relationship Goals sermons: Week 1 , Week 2, Week 3, Week 4

Relationship Goals Week 7: The ‘I Can’t Can’

Relationship Goals Week 4: My Way or Your Way

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Love is not self-seeking, does not insist on its own way, the Apostle Paul tells us. But we, Pastor Yami pronounces in this sermon, more often use love as an excuse to get exactly that: our own way. We tend to be approach love individualistically and consume love and its benefits rather than practicing it. Being consumers, we treat the people we “love” as commodities, keeping them in our lives if the relationship meets our own needs and throwing them away when it becomes hard or uncomfortable. Further, many of us believe in the Mythology of Soulmates, which causes us to believe that there is no need for us to grow or change to become better for our relationships because once we meet that right person, they will fulfill all our needs and perfectly match all our weaknesses. “When it comes to the Bible, God doesn’t speak much about finding you your perfect person,” Pastor Yami said, “instead, the scripture does speak VERY much about you becoming the person you should be.” To truly love, we must surrender our perception of relationships as commodities that serve us and give ourselves over to being transformed in order to serve.

Our next steps for this week:

  1. How are you treating your relationships?
  2. How are you performing in your relationships?
  3. Share in communion, reflecting on the truth that a God that chose you before you offered any performance still chooses you despite your performance.

The reality of life is there is no life apart from relationships. Your relationships might be with stuff, not people, but your life is relating itself to STUFF. So our heart and our goal in this series is to just be at a place where we ask the hard questions, we get into the space of trying to understand what is love really like. Now when you get into scripture, scripture has a lot of stuff to say about love. So we are are looking at some few amazing things that God has said in his word in 1 Corinthians chapter 13 of what love is.

Catch up on earlier Relationship Goals sermons: Week 1 , Week 2, Week 3